i loved him so much.
but he didn’t love me.
i guess i am crazy.
im so sad without him.
i cry myself to sleep every single night, it hurts.
i pray to god every night that he takes my pain away, but he refuses.
i pray every single night to take me out of this, i tell god i don’t want to wake up in the morning unless he’s there with me, holding me, telling me it’s goingto be ok, that i am going to make it.
but god refuses and i wake up every morning and have to face being alone again.
in this place, my own personal hell.
it may be my fault, but i didn’t abandon him.
i came to help my family and he decided that it was over.
i am so hurt.
now i have lost a dear friend. forever.
i loved my sleepybear so so much.
and i don’t know how to start over again.
i have to go back to orlando.
i will be reminded of everything.
he was everything to me.
i don’t know how to cope.
i feel like i have lost my best friend.
and i have.
he and i were so close.
how could i do this to myself?
he wants someone new now.
someone who doesn’t “drive him crazy”.
im glad he’s happy, but it breaks my heart to think that he no longer even cares what happens to someone only a few months ago he said he loved.
my body hurts.
i’ve never had this kind of hurt before, and i don’t know how to heal.